judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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