He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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