every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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