Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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