it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
