honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
