That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
