Betty ford says i'm here all night
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
