It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
