at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
