and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
