i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
