when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
