gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
