I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
