Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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