id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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