Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
i black out too much to be "responsible"
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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