We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
