have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just found puke in my bra..
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
