I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
