hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
