I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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