hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
