My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
