She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
