wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
then he tried to convert me to islam
Is it penis luge time yet?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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