Can Purell be used as lube?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
