It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Randomize
