hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
