I just made out with a guy for $7.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
