oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
