I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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