My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Those nachos came to me in a dream
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
