i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
