3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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