Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Still dying that you shit outside
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
