Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
