You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
