Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
