I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
