your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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