im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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