Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
