How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
