Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
