Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
i out mim tonsoeep
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