Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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