We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
