i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
